Because I am very lazy, morbidly obese and disturbingly distracted by the Wii, I am going to re-do the cast page in the fastest, most half-assed way possible.
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- JENN THE CREATOR AGE 20 // FASHION STUDENT // CRAZED LUMBERJACK Once upon a time, there was a very lazy ambiguously gendered person who decided it would be just dandy to run a web-comic. She often neglected this web-comic for the sake of many other things, such as eating copeous amounts of garbage, playing video games, or running around punching people in the throat. In the end, she exploded. Sort of. Not really. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- LAUREN / JOE THE ALCOHOLIC AGE 20 // BUSINESS STUDENT // LOVES TERRIBLE MOVIES There was this one time when me and Lauren went out to East Side Mario's for dinner, and we had a soup eating contest. We had like.. six bowls of italian wedding soup each. And we ate so much free bread they wouldn't give us anymore. Afterwards, we vomited. Then we went back to her place and ate buffalo wings and watched Survivor. HOORAY. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- EMILY THE JEW AGE 20 // RELIGIONS STUDENT // HATES MOST PEOPLE There was this one time when I was hanging out with Emily and she pulled a spoon out of her pocket. I mean, out of NO WHERE. She told me the spoon was for convenient eating. Like when there was a bowl of pudding nearby, and she could sample without worry. Then we put on our prom dresses and went to the closest super-market and pushed eachother around in carts and very loudly asked store clerks for vagisil. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- GEOFF THE DRAG QUEEN AGE 20 // ACTOR // HE LOVES TO SOAR. A LOT. There was this one time when Geoff came over to celebrate July 1st. We blew up fireworks in the field behind my house, and then ran away when they shot off. We fired up this huge firework called 'the burning schoolhouse' and while we were running away, we ran into eachother and crumpled into a pile on the ground, while fire rained down from the sky on top of us. Then we went to Wendys and I screamed over the speaker, "DO FRIES COME WITH THAT FROSTY???" Geoff has never let me forget this, even to this day. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- JAKKI THE GOTH WHORE AGE 21 // FASHION STUDENT // HAS STDs There was this one time when me and Jakki went out to a club together. I was dressed as a pirate and she was dressed as some sort of prisoner. Anyway, there was a bunch of guys dressed as bananas, and I took Jakki's picture with them. In this picture, there's Jakki, a menacing brown man, some dude that thinks he's the shit, and a banana man with down syndrome. Within minutes of talking to Jakki, she will mention this picture and show you this picture. I AM DEAD SERIOUS. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- EM THE GIMP AGE 19 // GODIVA SLAVE // PROBABLY BREAKING ONE OF HER LIMBS RIGHT NOW There was this one time me, Jakki and Em were all hanging out and Em tried to leave the apartment, so me and Jakki wrapped ourselves around her legs so she couldn't leave. Then she got free and got into an elevator. Me and Jakki ran down the stairs to meet her on the bottom floor and brought her back to the apartment, where we threw her in the recycling bin full of beer bottles. At the time, Em's neck was pretty crippled, so it was kinda like picking on a crippled kid. Hilarious. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARSHIN THE WIFE AGE 21 // FASHION STUDENT // WANTS A DIVORCE There was this one time, when me and Arshin used to work together at Fabricland, and we were doing inventory. Me and Arshin are married, because we hang out and bicker so much. Then our wedding song came on, and we started dancing together with long trails of fabric, while the stockboy looked on in horror. Sometimes I remind Arshin of this story, and he tries to denied it ever happened. But let me assure you, he is a liar and a sociopath. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- TREVOR THE ZOMBIE GUY AGE 20 // ILLUSTRATION STUDENT // HUSTLEFACE There was this one time when Trevor was all like, "I'm better than you at video games." We decided the only way to settle this was to have a mighty video-game tournament. And yes, even though I was defeated in one venue in which I was QUITE confident, I owned him at various others. Or were at least equally matched. The moral of this story is that I am awesome and that I punched him in the neck shortly afterwards. Probably. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- LAURA THE ROCKY HORROR FREAK AGE 20 // ILLUSTRATION STUDENT // ENJOYS SUSHI There was this one time when me, Laura and Arshin used to work together at Fabricland, and we all hated our job very much, so we bought a giant ceramic chicken and two dozen eggs. Then we drove up to our old high school in the middle of buttfuck nowhere and smashed said chicken, then egged the remains and the giant scoreboard in the football field. We drove away quickly because we're dumb like that and ate pizza afterwards. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ERIN THE HAPPY ONE AGE 21 // FASHION STUDENT // COMPLAINED THAT SHE WASN'T ON HERE FOR A GOOD WHILE There was this one time I went to the cafeteria with Erin and I had no money, so she bought me pizza for lunch. I know that may not be that special, but it's an awesome story because I got free food for one, and two... Erin is awesome and I like Erin the end. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- IRENE THE PARTY-ANIMAL AGE 26 // FASHION STUDENT // ADDICTED TO MYSPACE. FOR SERIOUS. There was this one time I dressed up as a robot and went to a club where Irene was throwing a huge shindig. Upon arriving, Irene was very drunk and started screaming about the robot. She started rubbing up against my box costume and tried to shove beer into my mouth through my eye holes. Then she tried to bust open my costume to reveal my true identity. Irene doesn't recall a lot of this because she was very very drunk. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- JON YE OLD SIDEKICK AGE 20 //ARCHITECTURE STUDENT // WHIPPED There was this one time when I pretty much lived in Jon's res room for like a week straight and there was so much garbage in the room that we accumulated that we had to sleep in the garbage. Ants soon infested the room. Jon got kinda pissed but then calmed down when I bought him some McNuggets. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------- JOHNNY THE ASIAN AGE 21 //ENGINEERING STUDENT // SOMETIMES WEARS BRISTOL BOARD There was this one time when me and Johnny and Em were playing Mario Kart really late at night, and Johnny said, "I'm in flavour country." I laughed really hard and found it EXTREMELY enjoyable. Then I repeated this saying for a good while afterwards. Then Johnny made some rice and I ate it. Good times. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- |